Choosing the right guy (or girl!)

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The other weekend my husband had a stag do to go to overseas and my mother-in-law took our 2 children over to visit their aunty at the beach, which meant for the first time in 9 years I was by myself for 3 days! I was both excited and nervous at being by myself. I talk to John and the kids each night but the rest of the time I just enjoyed the silence.

When John and I first got together he would often ask if there was something wrong if I wasn’t talking during a long trip in the car. I remember my dad and I could sit in a comfortable silence for a 3 hour car trip. I’m not someone who needs to be around people all the time and I don’t feel the need to talk if there is a silence. At school, I’m constantly around people, talking, listening, learning so during this weekend by myself it was lovely to just have silence.

On one of the mornings I decided to go out to breakfast by myself. I know a lot of people who wouldn’t be comfortable going to the movies or a restaurant by themselves but it doesn’t phase me. As I walked in there was only an older couple in there having breakfast, the rest of the place was empty. I ordered some fruit and pancakes and took a seat. Shortly after I sat down, an elderly couple sat down in front of me. They would have been in their 70’s. I started checking my phone and then looked out of the window to see a girl in about her 20’s all dressed up, looking beautiful. She hopped out of one car and then another car pulled up beside her and out jumped a stylish looking guy. They both walked in, laughing and smiling at each other. After they had ordered their breakfast they took a seat behind me. I couldn’t see them but I could hear them perfectly clear.

Infront of me was the elderly couple who didn’t feel the need to fill the silence. I wondered how long they had been married. Behind me the young couple were clearly still trying to impress each other. She laughed at his jokes which were not funny and he spent most the time apologising for this and that.

The honeymoon period of any relationship is always exciting. All you want to do is spend every moment with them and when you’re not with them you are busy thinking about them. And who can forget the butterflies you get every time you see them.

But as I looked over at the elderly couple I’m so gratful to be happily married for over 8 years. Yes John and I went though the great honeymoon phase but now I don’t have to try and pretend to be someone i’m not. John loves me with all my flaws. I don’t have to pretend to laugh if I don’t find something funny, I don’t have to worry about what I’m wearing to try and impress him. And yes there are still regular moments when my heart melts when i see him, like when he’s playing with our kids or just the other day when he was trying on his suit for a wedding was going to, I smiled thinking how handsome he looked.

For John and I it wasn’t love at first sight first time round. We met in high school when we were 13 years old and we just friends. John left high school when he was 16 and I didn’t hear or see him for about 10 years. When I did run back into him those 10 years later it was love at second sight! Obviously you need to be attracted to your partner but remember looks fade. And any relationship needs to be worked on. When you have kids it is hard to try and find time with just the 2 of you but you just have to do it. With John when we met back up after all those years, I knew he was the one, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have to work on our relationship. My advice for what it’s worth is to be with someone who makes you laugh, who makes you smile and some one who you can picture yourself growing old with!

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