The older I get the harder it is to say goodbye

When my dad died in an accident over 10 years ago my sister and her husband Andrew decided they wanted to go and work over in Australia for a few years.  Ngaire would have never left Rotorua if dad was still alive, but after he passed away it was hard on all of us.  For me I couldn’t leave because I felt and still do feel close to dad here, every day when I drive to work, I know that years before dad travelled that same road, and it’s a comfort to me. But at the time for Ngaire being here, being surrounded by everything that reminded her of dad was hard so they left.  I remember saying good bye to them both and hugging my sister.  Of course I didn’t want her to go, but it was only going to be for a few years and Australia isn’t that far away.  Well…a few years turned out to be over 10 years and in that time they have lived in various parts of Australia and also spent about 4 years in Dubai!

Ngaire and I had the typical sibling relationship growing up.  We fought and I was the annoying little sister, but as we got older I became less of a pain and now we are the best of friends.  We get to see each other a least once a year, and all I can say is thank goodness for Skype!


Yesterday I had to dropped Ngais and Jaden off at the airport.  They went back to Brisbane but I’m hoping it won’t be long until we see them all again.  They only stayed for a week this time and the time flew by.  Our three kids all get along so well, even though they can almost go a year without seeing each other, as soon as they do there is this amazing bond between them.  Yesterday it broke my heart when Will burst out in tears when it came time to say good bye to Jaden.  Will’s lip turned inside out and he just looked incredibly sad.  Despite the distance and despite not seeing each other that often they truly love one another.  I am hoping like anything that they will move back home some day soon so our kids can grow up together.   


The older I get the harder it is to drop them off at the airport and say good bye.  I spent some of the 3 hour drive home crying and thinking about family, in particular my dad. I know that dad would be proud of both Ngaire and I and I know that he would have made the best grandad to our kids.  Some days when I think about my dad I smile but days like yesterday I really miss him.  If dad was still alive he would want Ngais and I to live our lives and if that meant living over seas then he wouldn’t stand in our way, he would be supportive and happy with what ever we did.  As I drove away from the airport, missing my sister and nephew I can’t be like dad, I want to be selfish, I want my family to move back home!  None of us know when our time is up here on earth, and the older I get the more I realise just how important it is to spend life with loved ones.

I posted on Facebook how it was so hard to say good bye at the air port and one of my beautiful friends posted this quote…

winnie the pooh

One thought on “The older I get the harder it is to say goodbye”

  1. Miss you little sis xoxox

    And I miss Dad too. It was lovely to be home for a week and let the kids be with each other again. They have a beautiful bond that I know will never be broken. We’ll be home again soon. Love you loads xxx

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