What is a friend?

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My dad use to say that if you could count the number of true friends you had on one hand you were lucky. Before dad died in an accident he was retired and would spend his days in his shed, pulling things apart and putting them back together again. Dad didn’t tend to go around to his friends houses but they would always come visit him. When he passed away it was humbling to see the amount of people who loved dad, the grown men who were reduced to tears because they knew they would never see him again. Many of these people were friends that dad didn’t see on a regular basis but they were true friends none the less.

Some friends come and go and some time friends come into your life because you are both going through similar things. With one of my best friends Trace we worked at the same school and were colleagues, it wasn’t until we both had our kids (who are roughly the same age) that we became the best of friends. I guess we both were going through the same things and we could both relate to each other. Trace is the only other person who I know that can truly relate to the sleepless nights and being utterly exhausted that you’re not functioning properly. You also know you’re the best of friends when you can turn up to each others’ house in track pants and slippers and feel right at home. Trace can light up the room with her beautiful smile, she is a gorgeous person both inside and out and I feel blessed to have her in my life.

At times I think things happen for a reason which was certainly the case with how Kirsty and I became the best of friends. About 3 years ago I was going through about 100 odd CV’s. We needed a new entrant teacher and I was putting forward my recommendation to my boss. When I came across Kirsty’s CV it didn’t have a photo on it but I was immediately draw to it because I saw that she was living in Scotland (my husband is half Scottish). I then saw how old she was and I honestly wondered if she was single because I had a good friend who I wanted to set up with someone! I then began to look more closely at her CV, I was impressed with a number of things, she received great grades through teachers college and when she was on placements at schools, colleagues commented on how she was open to feedback, sought advice if she needed it and was enthusiastic. I tried to Facebook stalk her but couldn’t find her, but I put her name forward to the boss because there just was something about her. Unfortunately she wasn’t in New Zealand for when the school needed her but a few months later she did end up getting a job at the school. Shortly afterwards I played cupid and she is now engaged to one of mine and my husbands best friends and together they have a handsome young boy! I definitely feel that Kirsty and I were meant to be in each others lives as corny as that sounds. She is getting married at the end of this year and I’m so excited, Kirsty is drop dead gorgeous and is going to make the most beautiful bride. Ekkk so excited!

Then I have my 2 other friends Kush and Sarah who I both met through work. Sarah and I are both very shy so it took us a while to get to know each other. And Kush, well her laugh is infectious, she is such a bubbly person who has the ability to get along with any one. For a time there we would all go to the gym together after work. I used to have to will myself to get to the gym but as soon as I was there with them both it was a great time. The hour would whizz by with us talking about our dreams. The best part is that after years of talking about our dreams all 3 of us in some way or another is taking a step out of our comfort zone and taking a risk and doing things we would not have dared doing all those years ago. So for that reason I’m so incredibly proud of us. We don’t go to the gym any more which is a shame because I loved catching up with the girls. Sarah has moved out of town so it is too far for her to come in to the gym and life just gets busy.

Shelly and I met at work. When I first started we ended up being in the same team. She is an amazing and dedicated teacher and in many ways we are very similar to each other. Shelly has been so supportive with my journey of Fashion Decider. She is just as excited about it as I am so it has been so nice to be able to share my news with her and have her be genuinely happy for me. Every day she is offering suggestions, and her encouragement has been exactly what I needed but she is also honest so if ever I need her opinion I know that she will give me her honest opinion. Everyone of us need a friend like Shelly in their lives! So thank you Shelly for being in mine.

Unfortunately a couple of my other friends couldn’t make the photo today, my sister being one of them. I miss her every day and wish she would hurry up and move home already! Miss you Ngais xxx.

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Even though Shelly, Kirsty and I all work at the same school we can go a week without seeing each other. Just the other day Shelly and I were at the same professional development course in a different town and I didn’t get a chance to catch up with her. And as for Sarah, Trace and Kush we can go months without being in contact. A strong friendship doesn’t need daily conversations. All of us are young, working mums and we are all secure in our friendships to know that life is just busy. We catch up when we can and when we do it’s just non stop talking, with our conversations jumping all over the place! And I know if ever I needed their help I can always count on them to be there for me, just like they could always count on me to be there for them.

Friends are people you can reply on, who you can trust, who encourage you, who are there through the good times and bad, through the laughter and the tears. They defend you and don’t talk about you behind your back. Sure there are going to be times when you don’t agree with your friends but at the end of the day you agree to disagree and move on. My advice is try to distance yourself from those people who are negative, these are the people who just seem to always have dramas, their negativity can be draining and it can bring you down. You can’t hang out with negative people and expect to have a positive life. I don’t know where we all be in the next 5 years, I would like to hope that I’ll still be the best of friends with each of these amazing ladies. Over the past few years I have been reminded that life really is too short. You really don’t know when your time is up here on earth so surround yourself with people you love, people who treat you right and people who make you feel happy. So “to all my friends and family I just want to tell you that I love you because yesterday is gone, today is almost over and tomorrow isn’t promised…”

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8 thoughts on “What is a friend?”

  1. What a beautiful post B!! I know we’ll be friends forever and can see us as little old ladies still talking nonstop. Love you x

  2. Love you B, and miss you heaps xxxx

    So very proud of you and what you have achieved. Dad would be so proud as well xxx

  3. Such lovely words B and so very true. You are such an amazing friend and work colleague. I think you are truly amazing the way you juggle your busy job, your gorgeous children and their activities while starting up this business and still being one of the kindest, most positive and bubbliest people I know. We don’t know what’s around the corner and we can’t take our loved ones for granted. I hope everyone who reads this lets their loved ones know just how special they are to them. X

    1. So true, we don’t know what is around the corner, so we need to make the most of life. I think we are all amazing the way we juggle our insanely busy lives xxxB

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