I remember being in primary school when I was about 8 years old I would look at the 12 year olds and think they were adults and I just couldn’t wait to be that old. Of course when I got to 12, I just couldn’t wait to turn 15 so I could get my drivers licence. When I was 15 I couldn’t wait to turn 18 so I could finish high school, then I couldn’t wait to move out of home because that would mean freedom. Then I was waiting to turn 21 because for some reason that just seemed to be the magic number when life was just meant to be one big party. At 34 I think I am a bit wiser now. Of course there are days or even weeks when all I want is for it to be the weekend but I try to remind myself to enjoy the moment, to live in the now because you really don’t know when your time is up here on earth. In a split second it can literally all be over for you or someone you love. And of course all those years of wishing I was older, makes me laugh now because being a kid was so much easier!
I’ve always loved little kids, that’s the reason I became a teacher. As I got older I remember thinking that if I couldn’t have my own kids that I would be devastated. My husband and I were lucky enough to have no trouble in that department. When we decided that we both wanted kids we got pregnant straight away, unfortunately I miscarried. But obviously some thing wasn’t right. Thankfully the next month I was pregnant again and then 9 months later we had our beautiful daughter Bella. Bella was a really hard baby, who just didn’t sleep but that is a story for another time! Two years after Bella was born, almost to the day our son Will was born.
Nobody can prepare you for parenthood. Don’t get me wrong I feel truly blessed to have 2 healthy children, I couldn’t imagine my life without them and I love them more than any thing but being a parent is so much harder than I thought it would be!
As soon as Bella was born, I was responsible for this little human being. Being a mum changes your view on life, it changes who you are. You are a mum 24 hours a day. If you have a tummy bug or the flu, or if your tired, your kids still need you to be mum. If you’re feeling like crap and they’ve fallen over and hurt themselves, or if they just want to talk to you, or spend time with you, being a mum means putting them first. If I’m honest when I am sick or tired I struggle to be a good mum.
I’m someone like my dad. I like the piece and quite but my job is a job where I am constantly dealing with people all day. Don’t get me wrong I like helping others, I like being that person others can turn to for advice, that person that people feel comfortable confiding in, that person who can be relied upon to do a job but some days I leave work feeling like I have nothing left, like my tank is empty.
I know there are millions of mums who can relate. As soon as your feet hit the floor when waking up, we are on the go until we get back into bed after a busy day.
There are days when I get home from work when I just have to go and sit in our bedroom just to have calm and to be able to take a few breathes and to just have some time to myself where no body needs me., where I’m not being pulled in different directions. That’s why since having kids the toilet is my favourite place! As many mums would understand even the toilet can be a place where the kids still come and need you even if you’re on the toilet or in the shower. Even if they clearly see you are busy the kids still want to talk, or want you to solve their problems. But now I lock the door when I use the bathroom! There are days when I spend longer in the shower just to get away from the busyness of life. Even when I’m at work, some days when I sit on the toilet I feel myself relax for the first time that day!
The bathroom in our house hold can also be used as some what of a hiding place when I don’t want to have to share my chocolate with the kids! Shocking I know!
As I previously mentioned in an earlier post I have started running again to help me unwind from the day and it’s definitely been helping. But if I can’t get out for a run and need some quite time, there is always the bathroom!